I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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