covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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