you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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