I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
