he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
