I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
