Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
