left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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