This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
