I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
