You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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