This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
