i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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