Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
