I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
