yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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