I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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