whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
this will be a night to untag.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
