i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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