I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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