just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
