Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
