I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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