I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to make a zoo with you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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