I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
