Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone came in the potted fern
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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