My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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