There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
