The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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