my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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