they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
