I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
