Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
