I faked an abortion last night.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
