We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
