I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize