have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize