Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
