So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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