girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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