Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
