Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
