party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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