girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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