I'm really into asian looking animals
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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