woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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