i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
