Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is the high leading the old right now
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize