We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
