I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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