Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
