im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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