Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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