so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
All the doctor said was why
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
