just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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