He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
