guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
