Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
