how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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