I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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