They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize