I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize