R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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