we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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