I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Welp...herpes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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