just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
