I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
