She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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