you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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