I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize