Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
