some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
only you would photoshop your dick
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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