i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My vagina is officially offended.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
