the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I party with great urgency now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
