just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
