meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
