i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
