Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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